Rainbow Monkey Lisa Business
by Ulathon
Summary: The O'Reilly Gang steals the Rainbow Monkey Lisa. Numbuh 3 doesn't like that. Not – one – bit! And when Numbuh 2 puts on his detective hat things start to look really bleak for the gang. And then they had to hide under Numbuh 86's bed, because ... Well, read on, and find out. An independent sequel of "The Great Cake Heist". Rated T for a single word.
1. Contents and Chapter 1

**RAINBOW MONKEY LISA BUSINESS**

**contents:**

Chapter 1

_In which art is admired, a booger is misplaced and a sooper secret meeting is interrupted._

Chapter 2

_In which a tea party is crashed, fingers are pointed and a horrible discovery is made._

Chapter 3

_In which apple crumble is consumed, Numbuh 3 gets rough and Egbert hides in a dumpster._

Chapter 4

_In which Mister Boss enjoys life, Egbert cracks a safe and Numbuh 86 sings and dances._

Chapter 5

_In which Barry is skeptical, Kyle gets into the act and ultimate terror enters through the window._

Chapter 6

_In which everybody starts shooting_

* * *

~Chapter 1~

The doors of the Detention Wing of Gallagher Elementary opened on a sunny Tuesday afternoon and Egbert O'Reilly stepped out in the sunshine. He paused briefly to replace the match in his mouth and straigthen his school jacket and his blue cap, then went straight over to the bench where his cronies Barry and Kyle, had been waiting for him.

"Welcome out, Eggy," Barry said and slapped his gang leader on the shoulder.

"Good to have you out, Eggy", Kyle said.

"Thanks, guys", Egbert smiled, "It's good to be out."

"And … you've got a plan?" Kyle asked.

"Of course he's got a plan, Kyle. Can't you see he is smiling? What is it, Eggy?"

Egbert slowly removed the match he had been chewing on from his mouth. His smile got even wider and more self-satisfied.

"How would you guys like three pounds of candy … each?"

Barry and Kyle went quiet. This went beyond their wildest dreams.

"Holy cow", Barry whispered.

"Is … is it dangerous?" Kyle asked nervously.

"Not at all, guys. Because we are going to do our first inside job. Let's get … cultural."

XXX

"Wait a minute," Barry said, as they were walking up the stairs to the Macaroni Museum of Art. "Are we gonna steal a cruddy painting?"

Egbert winced. "Say that again a little louder, Barry, I think there might be a guard or two in the building that didn't hear you. But yeah, that is the idea. Now try to look like you're interested, and pay attention to the layout of the place. We'll need to find our way later tonight."

So the gang moved through the brightly colored halls, doing their best to look interested in the artwork. They marveled at the wall-to-wall mural_ Numbuh Zero kicks Grandfather's butt in a totally awesome way_ by the legendary artist "Johnny, 5b", dwelled at each ashtray in the hall of Ashtrays and snickered at the Museum's latest acquisition,_ Piss Principal_ (Totally NOT by Wallabee Beatles).

And just as Barry and Kyle almost couldn't take the wait anymore, Egbert led them through a door and stopped.

"There she is, gentlemen. Our target"

It was a large room where only one work of art was hanging in a special niche, softly lid by two projectors, half-hidden behind a group of kids, excitedly muttering together.

"The Rainbow Monkey Lisa," Egbert said softly. "More delicious macaroni per square inch than any other work of art in the world. "

"No!" Kyle whispered

"Holy cow" Barry muttered.

Eggy turned and left the room, followed by Barry and Kyle.

"So, what's the plan, Eggy?" Barry asked, and even his low tone couldn't hide his exciement..

"It's very simple", Egbert said – they came out in the main hall, and Egbert led them over to a discreet corner behind an enormous sculpture of two humongous wrestling papier-mache mechas, where they could talk in peace.

"Now pay attention," he said softly, " We go in through a window on the back of the museum".

"Yeah…?"

"We sneak down to the Lisa."

"Yeah…?"

"We take the Lisa."

"Yeah…?"

"And we leave"

"Yes, and what about the alarm? And the guards?"

"Oh, that has all been taken care of. I told you this was an inside job, right?"

At that moment a shrill yell cut through the hall:

"WHO did that? Who put a booger on _101 of the Artist's Boogers_?"

All eyes in the hall turned towards the yeller; a tall, pale boy wearing a brown buttoned-down shirt and a black beret, who was looking angrily around after a possible perpetrator. When no one fessed up to the monstrous befouling, he harrumphed, and stomped out of the hall. The normal low museum murmur returned.

"That was Ben Arnold, the Museum's curator," Egbert said. "I know him from wood shop. He just took over after Reggie Olsson got the chickenpox last week, and he has a problem. He owes several weeks' worth of candy to some bullies, and there's an atomic wedgie coming up if he doesn't deliver soon. He has found an adult willing to buy the Rainbow Monkey Lisa for good hard sugar, but of course he can't just take her out of the museum himself. That's where we come in."

"So, he'll help us, then" Kyle asked skeptically.

"Oh, yeah. Tonight the alarm will have an unexpected malfunction, and the guards will be in their milk room all night playing the new Yipper Wrestling Club 6, Ben has loaned them. Then in two days time, when the exitement have died down, Ben and the buyer will come to our clubhouse and pick up the Lisa – and we split the candy in four equal parts."

"That's brilliant, Eggy", Barry muttered, excitedly.

"I don't like it, Eggy", Kyle whined softly, "It's too easy. What if he cheats us?"

"Nonsense, Kyle", Eggy said. "Remember, we'll have the Lisa until the candy is on the table. There's no way this can go wrong."

"Well, if you say so", Kyle said, not entirely convinced.

"Good! All we'll need is a glass cutter, a stepladder and a knife. The action starts at 10.30 tonight. Let's get to work!"

XXX

As it turned out, it all went as Egbert had planned. The gang members snuck out their bedroom windows just after bedtime and met in the gathering dusk behind the museum. Barry climbed the stepladder and cut two small holes in one of the windows with his uncle's glass cutter, so he could reach in and open the window. They quickly scurried through the dark hallways – Kyle was his usual jittery self, but apart from the occasional distant roar from the milk room, when one of the guards scored a body-slam, the guards never made an appearance. When they reached the Lisa they cut her free from her frame, carefully rolled the canvas up, snuck back the way they had come and parted outside.

Egbert was back in bed before 11.30, feeling extremely pleased with himself. Everything had gone as planned, the rolled-up Lisa was resting safely under his bed and in two days' time he and the gang would have completed a coup that kids would talk about for weeks – and have more candy than they would know what to do with. Egbert smiled an angelic smile, and fell asleep in the secure knowledge that nothing could go wrong now.

XXX

"WHERE IS SHE?"

The shriek cut straight through the steel and cardboard walls of the Soopreme Leader's Moonbase office and Numbuh 5 jumped up from her seat. Numbuh 86, who had been drawing an attack vector on the big map of Mexico on the table between them, gave a start that sent sector T to Cuba instead.

There was struggling outside the door: "Ma'am, you can't …"

"OUT OF MY WAY, SQUIRT!" Thump

Numbuh 86 tensed up and turned towards the door, ready to defend her Soopreme Leader against whatever threat was out there.

"At ease, 86." Numbuh 5 said from the other side of the table. "I've been expecting this."

A second later the door was flung open and a furious Numbuh 3 stormed in, going straight for Numbuh 5. Trailing her was Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 4, who were sending apologetic smiles at the dazed guard on the floor.

"YOU!" Numbuh 3 demanded, stopping at the edge of the table and jabbing an angry finger at the braided Soopreme Leader's chest. "WHAT are you doing?"

"Oh, hey, Numbuh 3" Numbuh 5 said calmly. "I'm just planning our offensive against the Broccoli cartels of Mexico, and.." she looked down on the table next to her "having a glass of milk. That's about it."

"DON'T act all innocent with me" Numbuh 3 screamed and slammed her fist down on the table, overturning 5 and 86's milk glasses, so the Carribean was transformed into the White Sea. "The Rainbow Monkey Lisa was stolen last night, and what have you done about it? NOTHING!"

"You can't talk to the Soopreme Leader like that …" Numbuh 86 started.

Numbuh 3 glared at her, and Numbuh 86 swallowed the rest of the sentence.

"Now, that's unfair, Numbuh 3. Numbuh 5 has been quite busy lately, and there has simply not been any kidpower available, with the offensive coming up and all. I could put Numbuh 13 on the case, but…"

"NUMBUH 13! ARE YOU INSANE? We'll NEVER see the Lisa again. I DEMAND that you put me and my sector in charge of the investigation!"

"Well, I dunno. You guys have a lot on your plate already. But if your sector leader thinks you can handle it …" She looked over at Numbuh 2 who gave a quick, frantic nod of acceptance. "Well, all right then"

"HRMPF" Numbuh 3 grabbed Numbuh 2 and Numbuh 4 "Come on, guys – We have WORK to do!"

Sector V left and the room grew quiet.

Numbuh 86 exhaled. "Were you really going to put Numbuh 13 in charge of the investigation, ma'am?"

"Of course not. He's fine where he is, searching for humorously shaped icebergs in Antarctica. Some people just need to get a little revved up to be really effective, that's all. Now Numbuh 3 will stop at nothing until the Lisa is found. She won't talk to Numbuh 5 for a couple of days, but that can't be helped." A look of concern crossed Numbuh 5's features "Zero help the poor saps she DOES want to talk to."

* * *

Well, the O'Reilly gang from "The Great Cake Heist" is back, and this time on a collision course with an enraged Kuki.

I hope you will have as much fun reading, as I have writing.

As always, reviews and comments on language and style are welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

_With the warm reception of a new story about the O'Reilly gang, and me stuck at home with a cold, what could I do, but get to work._

_So here is chapter 2._

* * *

~Chapter 2~

Egbert O'Reilly was in a very good mood as he skipped out of his house and over his parent's overgrown lawn, the rolled up Rainbow Monkey Lisa in hand, towards the gangs clubhouse in old toolshed in the back of the garden. In ten minutes time Ben Arnold and the buyer would arrive and then the O'Reily gang would have completed the greatest Macaroni Art Theft ever – and of course be in possession of nine pounds of the finest candy.

Barry and Kyle had already arrived, he could see their bikes standing outside the shed.

Along with a third one.

A pink girl's bike.

Egbert good mood evaporated at the sight, and he was gripped by a sense of foreboding. He quickly ran over to the shed and opened the door.

And froze.

The old, rickety table was covered with a frilly pink tablecloth and various cups and plates. Barry and Kyle were sitting at the table, smiling nervously at him, along with Kyle's blonde (Totally-not-my) girlfriend, Ysande, who was pouring them cups of tea.

"Oh, hi, Egbert," Ysande said, "You're just in time for tea."

Egbert stared at the spectacle. "What the crud is SHE doing here?" he demanded from Kyle, who shrunk a bit under his gang leader's angry gaze.

"Well, I thought a tea party would be nice," Ysande said, ignoring that Egbert strictly speaking hadn't asked HER, "and then Kyle said he had to be at the clubhouse and then I thought we might as well have it here."

"No, no, no, no, NO!" It was SO like Ysande to show up when his magnificent plan was going smoothly and throw a spanner in the works. "Get OUT! NOW!"

"Manners, Egbert", Ysande chirped, "You are much too high strung, my mother always says so. Sit down and have a nice cup of tea and relax."

"I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID TEA, YOU STUPID …"

"Hey, Eggy!" Barry jumped up. "I've got something to show you - by the workbench."

Barry led the furious Egbert over to the workbench. "Look, Eggy," he muttered, "you know Kyle just can't say no to Ysande, right? We'll just have to work around her."

"Are you CRAZY?" Egbert hissed, "I'm NOT gonna do a multi- pound candy deal at a GIRLY TEA PARTY."

"Don't worry, Eggy, I've got a plan. When Ben and the buyer come, Kyle will say to Ysande that he has something important to show her behind the cabin, and then he'll keep her there until the deal is done."

Egbert was just about to point out that that was the dumbest plan he'd ever heard, when Ysande squealed with delight. "Oh look, there's Kuki Sanban. Maybe she'll come to the tea party as well."

"WHAT!" Egbert and Barry spun around and Kyle fell off his chair in chock. Trough the dirty windows they could see Kuki Sanban, Hoagie Gilligan and Wallabee Beatles jumping out of a S.C.A.M.P.E.R and running towards the shed. Judging by their determined expressions and the 2x4 weapons they were holding, they were NOT coming for the tea party.

"Quick! The back door!" Egbert shouted. Barry ran over and kicked a couple loose boards out from the back wall (the gang's special emergency exit) and the three gang members sprinted down the narrow path between the brambles, with the three KND operatives in hot pursuit.

Ysande put her hands on her hips and glared after them. "Typical. Just typical. They run out and play, and I get stuck with the cleaning-up."

XXX

Like all criminally inclined boys Egbert knew his hood, including all possible, probable and useful hiding places, and after a frantic run, a dash through two cement pipes and a number of climbs over as many fences the trio found themselves holed up in the basement of an abandoned, old wooden house, safe from prying KND eyes.

Shaking and gasping for breath they collapsed on an old mattress, about the only thing not nailed down that the former owners had not taken with them when they had left. The smell the mattress released explained why.

"How …" Barry managed to cough out between breaths. "How did they know …"

"I… dunno," Egbert said. "I ... I don't get it."

"I … knew … it … would …go … wrong", Kyle wheezed. "I … knew … it."

"That's … baloney, Kyle," Egbert said. "Everything went … according to the plan."

"Well, how did they know … that we had the painting, then?" Barry said. "You must have … left some kind of clue … at the museum, Eggy."

"What! I don't leave CLUES! One of you FATHEADS probably dropped his library card or something!"

"Fatheads?" Barry shouted. "It was YOUR plan that got us into this mess, you doofus!"

"Hoseneck!"

"Squidbreath!"

"Jackass!"

Egbert and Barry seized a fistful of each others T shirts and cocked their fists.

"GUYS! GUYS!" Kyle screamed, and both the combatants turned to stare at him.

"They'll hear us," he whispered, and Barry and Egbert immediately let go of each other and stood with bated breath for half a forever

"Sorry, Eggy," Barry finally said. "You don't make mistakes like that, I know."

"No, I'm sorry, " Egbert said. "You guys are smart – too."

"So, how did they know? Maybe that arty guy Ben ratted us out," Barry suggested.

"Why should he do that?" Egbert said. "We have the Lisa, he can't sell it without us. Unless …"

Egbert's face went pale. He picked up the Rainbow Monkey Lisa from the floor and rolled it out. He studied the painting very carefully in the faint light that filtered between the cardboard in the window. Then he reached down, broke off a piece of her hair, stuck it in his mouth and chewed.

"Papier-mâché", he said. "Guys, we've been had!"

* * *

_Oh dear - cheated, stuck with a worthless painting and an enraged Kuki on their scent. What will the gang do?_ _Read chapter three and find out._


	3. Chapter 3

~Chapter 3~

A good hour later it seemed like Sector V had abandoned the search and gone home for dinner. The gang crept out from the mouldy basement and moved, slowly and hidden from plain view, back towards Egbert's house.

None of them had said much, since Eggy had made his horrible discovery, each of the boys wrestling with the situation. No Lisa – no candy – Sector V on their heels – Very, very NOT good!

It was not until they were back at Eggy's place and Barry and Kyle were standing with their bikes ready to go home for dinner that Barry asked the big question: "So, Eggy … do you have a plan?"

"A plan," Egbert said vaguely, "yes … yes, of course I've got a plan. It just … needs some work, that's all. See you guys tomorrow." And then he ran into the house and slammed the door.

Barry and Kyle stared. This was not like Eggy at all.

"Well … see you tomorrow, Eggy!" Barry shouted at the closed door.

XXX

But when morning math class started, Eggy's chair was empty. Kyle stared at the empty chair and felt his last meager hope of survival crumble. He exchanged a desperate look with Barry, who shrugged, trying his best to look cool, but even he was beginning to worry. Where WAS Eggy?

Even less attention than usual was paid in math class. Kyle was as jittery as a junebug that has been sprayed with jittery spray, and expected that Sector V would come crashing through the door, 2x4 guns blazing, any moment. When the bell rang for recess, he jumped four inches up from his seat. Barry seized him by the arm, and dragged him out of the classroom among the crowd of other refugees from the math teacher's latest assault on childish happiness.

"Where … where's Eggy," Kyle whined, "What are we gonna do, Barry?"

"Easy, Kyle," Barry said, leading his friend down to the closest bathroom, where they could hide till recess was over. "Eggy is working on his plan, somewhere. He's NOT a quitter. We'll just stay under the radar, until he's finished."

Barry and Kyle quickly headed for the door to the nearest bathroom and safe haven. They pushed the door open and tumbled in. Kyle gave a weak sigh of relief.

And then a thick steel door fell down behind them with a loud bang, making him scream in chock.

"G'day, mates."

Wallabee Beatles stepped out of one of the stalls, toying with a 2x4 remote, with the broad smile of someone who knows exactly how much trouble the people he is looking at is in.

"Eeep!" Kyle squeaked.

"He-hey, Wally," Barry managed to say, "What's up?"

"Yer numbers, mates. This is yer lucky day. Hoagie and me wants a little chat with you in his office. And he brought apple crumble."

"Right, erm, that sounds great, Wally," Barry said, "but we've got … some … homework."

"Aww, come on,guys", Wally's smile got a bit wider, "it's lima bean sandwiches in the cafeteria today. Why on Earth would ye say no to apple crumble?"

Wally was right. There was no plausible way they could say no to Hoagie's apple crumble. Barry nodded in agreement and tried to smile.

Wally pressed a button on the remote and the steel door slid open. Barry supported the trembling Kyle as Wally led them out of the bathroom and down the hallway to Hoagies office.

XXX

Hoagie Gilligan had his office in the janitor's closet on the ground floor of Gallagher Elementary. It was the base from which he fought his never-ending battle for justice on the mean hallways of the school, untarnished and unafraid.

The O'Reilly gang preferred to stay far away from the place.

Wally opened the door and revealed Hoagie sitting at a table in the center of the room lid by a desk lamp, that made a stark contrast to the darkness of the rest of the room. He was enthusiastically eating apple crumble.

"Oh, no, Barry" Kyle whispered. "He's wearing the fedora!"

"Hello, guys," Hoagie said with a broad smile. "Good you could come. Sit down. Have some crumble. Knock yourself out."

Barry and Kyle hesitantly walked around the table, sat down and took a piece of crumble each. Wally casually leaned up against the door, and started cleaning his fingernails with a fork, occasionally throwing amused glances at Barry and Kyle.

There was a short, tense period of chewing.

"We were looking for you guys yesterday," Hoagie said, "heard you hung out at Eggy's place."

"Yeah, we did," Barry said. "But not all day. You must just have just missed us."

"Yeah, we did," Hoagie nodded. "Eggy is not at school today?"

"No, he's sick!"

"Aw, that's too bad," Hoagie sighed. "I found something of his the other day. Of course …" Hoagie reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, clear plastic bag "… He might not want it back."

The bag contained a single, chewed up match. Kyle got apple crumble in the wrong way and started coughing.

"You see," Hoagie continued, "I found this right next to where the Rainbow Monkey Lisa was stolen. And unlike Egbert and this match, we REALLY want her back. So - where is she?"

"Oh … oh, you think us and Eggy took her," Barry said innocently, "oh, no … we were at the museum with him Tuesday, you know, just looking. He must have dropped it."

"They do sweep the floors after closing time, you know," Hoagie said.

"Well, not too good apparently."

"You sure it wasn't you who stole the Lisa? Cause here yesterday, when you ran away from your shed, I could swear Eggy had a rolled-up painting in his hand."

"Oh? Oh, THAT! That was a poster, that I had just bought," Barry said. "We wanted to see it on my wall."

"Of course," Hoagie smiled. Then he started to laugh, "Hey, I just got a really funny idea. You want to play a game?"

"Yeah…?"

"Now I am going to count to three … and then you two AT THE SAME TIME tell me what was on that poster!"

Barry and Kyle's innards turned to ice. They had not agreed on that

"One-"

There was no way out of this one.

"Two – "

Unless they could learn telepathy REALLY, REALLY fast …

"THREE!"

"Cars!" Barry said

"The Yankees!" Kyle squeaked.

Hoagies smile widened.

"The Yankees and their cars!" Kyle blurted.

"Yes. YES!" Barry caught the idea immediately. "All the players, standing next to their cars – they have some really cool cars, Hoagie."

Hoagie's smile did not falter, but Barry and Kyle got the distinct feeling that it left his eyes behind the yellow-tinted glasses.

"Milk," he said.

"Sorry?"

"I forgot the milk." Hoagie slapped his forehead and rose. "You can't eat apple crumble without milk. Sorry about that, guys. We'll be right back. Come on, Wally" And then Hoagie and Wally left the office and closed the door.

Barry and Kyle sat and stared after them, utterly confused.

Then the fluorescent tubes in the ceiling flashed to life and bathed room in stark white light. Kyle and Barry barely had time to blink, before steely fingers wrapped in something green seized the back of their heads and slammed their foreheads painfully down on the table.

"How stupid do you think we are?" Kuki Sanban screamed. She seized a boy with each hand and hauled them both up in front of her extremely angry face. "We KNOW you took the Lisa, you twerps! WHERE IS SHE?"

It was a scary sight. Kuki's face was burning red, there was fire in her eyes and her teeth seemed pointier than they had any right to be. "Aaah – we don't know! Honest!" Barry croaked.

"WRONG ANSWER!" Kuki shook the boys like a pair of ragdolls then slammed them up against the wall. "Now listen, you two PIPSQUEAKS!" she snarled, "either you hand over the Lisa, or I make copy of her out of YOUR ENTRAILS! IS THAT CLEAR?"

And then she hurled both of them onto the pile of mops, buckets and mop buckets at the back of the room. Then she rushed out, almost knocking over Hoagie, who was just entering with a tray with three glasses of milk.

"So, you had a little chat with Kuki," he said amiably and placed the tray on the table. "Yeah, she gets quite upset when the Lisa is in danger. Have you heard about the time where Boss Fullbright tried to steal her and she made him and his ice cream men run like little girls? That was great … Say, you guys look awfully pale. Have some milk, it helps."

XXX

A few moments later Kyle and Barry staggered out the school entrance and down the stairs, hardly noticing the happy boys and girls playing all around them inside their cone of chock and misery. At the foot of the stairs they jerked to a halt, as they noticed Kuki in a posse of girls a few yards away. She shot them a laser-like glare, and the two boys scurried away, towards the garbage cans as far from Kuki as they could come, all the way feeling her eyes like an itch between their shoulder blades.

"What are we gonna do," Kyle whined. ""Did you see her eyes? And her teeth? And..and we don't have the Lisa. … She's going to …Eeek." Kyle sagged and Barry caught him, just as his knees buckled.

"Calm down, Kyle. We got to find Eggy – he'll know what to do."

"She .. she's probably already found him! He's lying in a dumpster somewhere!"

"Kyle! Stop talking like that!"

"Maybe he's lying in TWO dumpsters somewhere!"

"Psst, guys – over here."

Barry and Kyle looked around. It was Eggy's voice, but they couldn't see him anywhere. Then they noticed that the lid of one of the dumpsters was slightly ajar.

"Eggy?"

"Shhh! Get over here and pretend you're tying your shoelaces or something."

Barry and Kyle hurried over to the dumpster and Kyle bend down and fumbled with his laces.

"Where've you been Eggy?" Barry asked, "The fudge has hit the fan big time. Hoagie found a chewed-up match at the museum."

"That dirty squid-sucking Ben Arnold," Eggy snarled. "He's really been clever, hasn't he? But that won't help him, because I've found out where the Lisa is!"

"You do?"

"Oh yes. It's in Boss Fullbright's safe. HE was Arnold's mysterious buyer and he's having some friends over for macaroni and cheese tomorrow evening, where they'll be cooking the Lisa. But they'll have to order pizza instead, 'cause we're taking her back!"

"From … from Boss Fullbright," Kyle gasped, and looked up in horror from his crouched position. "But he's DANGEROUS!"

"Yes he is, but I've got a plan. A plan that will get us 12 pounds of candy, get Sector V off our butts and leave cruddy Ben Arnold so deep in dodo that you won't even see his stupid beret. "

"That's brilliant, Eggy," Barry said, excitedly.

"The action starts at 4:30 PM tomorrow. We'll meet outside Fullbright's house at 4.25 PM."

"4.25 PM at Fullbright's house – got it," Barry said. "No, wait – there's football on television at 4:30, can't we do it earlier?"

The school bell rang, signaling the end of recess.

"No, we can't, because that is the brilliant part. See you guys tomorrow! Don't be late – and wear your thickest socks!"

* * *

_Well - the eagerly awaited update. Holiday over and lots of work and other stuff AND this chapter was rewritten several times.  
_

_Hope it was worth the wait. As usual all comments welcome. _


	4. Chapter 4

~Chapter 4~

Boss Fullbright looked his living room over one last time, to ensure everything was ready. The TV was placed so the sun wouldn't dim the screen at any time during the game. The lazy boy chair was placed in the optimum distance. Nachos and ice bucket with root beer was placed within easy reach, and the open patio door ensured comfortable temperatures without draft. Yes, everything was ready. With a sigh he lowered himself into the chair to reap his just reward for having trimmed the hedges all afternoon. And now there was going to be a couple of hours of football, and later Mr. Wink and Mr. Fibb were coming over for Maccharoni and cheese and poker night.

He had the house for himself. Molly was out on a ladies night, Paddy and Shaunie were on a play date and Fanny was sleeping over at a friend's house. Boss Fullbright knew that she was really doing secret KND business, but Fanny knew that he knew so that was OK.

It had been a bit of a chock for Boss Fullbright to find out that his darling Fannypants was in fact the notorious Numbuh 86, Global Tactical Officer of those pesky Kids Next Door, but nowadays he kinda felt that he was getting the best of both worlds. Now, whenever he and the other evil adults lost, it still felt like a net score for Team Fullbright.

Oh, yeah, Boss Fullbright thought, and reached out for a cold root beer – life was good.

XXX

Egbert, Barry and Kyle stood outside, flat up against the wall, next to Boss Fullbright's patio door. Having ditched their shoes under a bush, in favor of thick, silent woolen socks, the three boys waited quietly for the game to begin.

The moment Egbert heard the ref's whistle and the accompanying roar of the crowd he signalled to Barry and Kyle to move. Quiet as church-mice with ninja training the three boys slipped through the open door, snuck behind the back of Boss Fullbright's old lazy boy and up the stairs to the first floor, all the way giving silent thanks that the Fullbrights favored thick carpets. Without a sound, they scurried down the corridor and slipped through the door to Boss Fullbright's den-like office. A big mahogany desk and two big leather chairs dominated the room. The walls were covered in books. The place smelled of cigar smoke, wealth and taste.

And in the corner was a large safe with a combination lock.

Barry guarded the door, while Kyle and Egbert silently moved over to the safe. With a concentrated look Egbert took his stethoscope from his pocket. Mr. O'Reilly had bought the stethoscope to his son at a garage sale in the hope that the kid would grow up to be a doctor, and it had quickly become Egbert's most treasured possession, although for quite another reason than his father had imagined. When the tumblers in a combination lock fall into place they give off a faint sound. Enough that a skilled person with a stethoscope can catch the sound and adjust the wheel accordingly.

Egbert O'Reilly was a very skilled person.

After 10 minutes of concentrated work, Egbert removed the stethoscope from the door with a satisfied smile. He allowed himself to enjoy Barry and Kyle's silent admiration for a few moments, before he pressed down the handle. The door opened, revealing piles of officially looking papers, a box of obviously very special cigars – and in the corner, a rolled up maccharoni artwork.

Egbert pulled the artwork out, rolled it open and quickly licked a hair - oh, yeah, this was the real thing. He rolled up the Lisa, and Kyle handed him the papier-mache fake, which he placed in the safe, exactly where the real Lisa had been moments before. "Let Boss Fullbright chew on that", he muttered to Kyle, who gave a nervous nod. He closed the safe, and the three boys quietly snuck out of the office and back down the hallway towards the stairs.

SLAM!

The gang froze as they heard the front door downstairs bang open and the sound of booted feet running.

"IS THAT YOU, FANNY", they heard Mr. Boss shout.

"YEAH!" shouted the terribly well-known voice of Fanny Fullbright. "I FORGOT SOMETHING." She was coming closer.

The gang threw themselves through the nearest door, and stood with bated breath as Fanny's heavy boots started stomping up the stairs. And then they noticed where they were.

The room was packed with Rainbow Monkey things. A large red Rainbow Monkey bed, a yellow Rainbow Monkey chair, a blue Rainbow Monkey clock on the wall, a purple Rainbow monkey dresser and more Rainbow Monkey dolls than you could shake a sharing, caring stick at. A room so girly could only belong to one member of the Fullbright family! And where Fanny Fullbright was going to look for whatever she had forgotten … that question was not hard to answer!

Panic struck! The three gang members started running around, flapping their arms, until Kyle threw himself to the floor and crawled under the bed. He was quickly followed by Eggy and Barry, who just managed to get his foot out of sight, before the door opened.

"There you are!" Fanny shouted, and Egbert, Barry and Kyle's hearts skipped a beat in unison. But then they realized that she was not referring to them, as she stomped through the room making a noise in her throat that was … cute. Peering very carefully out from under the bed, the three boys saw her pick one of the Monkey dolls from the huge pile. "Did you think I was gonna go to Mexico and kick Broccoli Baron butt without Safe Travel Rainbow Monkey" she purred and hugged the doll,"Oh, no I wouldn't. Oh, no I wouldn't"

And then the whole thing got completely nuts. Because Fanny Fullbright, the redheaded terror of Gallagher Elementary, the iron-fisted, bullhorn-voiced second-in-command of the Kids Next Door, the merciless trouncher of teenagers, stupid boys and whoever else would be so unlucky to get on her bad side –

started dancing around with her doll and singing in a loud, clear, girly voice:

_Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys,_  
_Oh, so very round and super chunky,_  
_Bringing love where ever they go,_  
_Everyone's made of a big rainbow._  
_Oh, red and orange, and pink and blue,_  
_Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys,_  
_We love you!_

And then she giggled and threw herself backwards on the bed. The bottom of the bed sunk down and draped itself around Kyles back and the three boys closed their eyes in horror. Fanny had to have felt that through the mattress.

But apparently she didn't, because shortly afterwards, they heard the door close. A few minutes later they dared breathe again and slowly emerged from their hiding place, still a bit incredulous from the experience.

"Whew", Barry sighed. "She … she sings really good."

"I'll never understand girls," Kyle said, "If I live to be a hundred. I'll never understand them."

"Focus, guys, focus," Eggy snapped, "It's almost halftime downstairs, we have to get ready."

Egbert and Kyle hurried out of Fanny's room, and Barry was just about to follow them, when his eyes fell on a picture on the dresser. He went over and picked it up.

Fanny was standing on the patio of her house in a ring of four other girls. It was dusk, an obvious slumber party. In spite of being surrounded by friends (he recognized Kuki Sanban) she looked lost … as if she did not know what to do with friends.

It was really strange, Barry thought, how Fanny could be so sure of herself when taking on teenagers and adult villains and so out on her depth surrounded by friends. How she could be tough as nails in school, and have a room filled with Rainbow Monkeys at home. Strange … but kinda cute.

Wait a minute … that blonde girl in the picture next to Fanny … was that … Holy cow, it was …

"BARRY!" Egbert hissed right next to Barry, who jerked and had to do a very quick and complicated juggling routine not to drop the picture on the floor. "Do you want to read her DIARY too, now you're at it? Get your cruddy butt in gear."

Barry quickly put the picture back on the dresser and followed Eggy out of the room and over to the stairs, just as half-time was announced downstairs.

Egbert peered around the corner of the stairs and saw Boss Fullbright get up and walk purposefully across the living room. He disappeared from view and shortly afterwards, they heard loud splashing from the toilet.

The gang hurried downstairs, tiptoed through the living room and out through the patio door.

XXX

"Holy cow, we're brilliant", Barry laughed as the three gang members paddled away from the Fullbrights house. "You're brilliant, Kyle – and I'm brilliant – and Eggy, you are just eleventy kazillion times brilliant."

"Yeah," Kyle smiled, "now we can hand back the Lisa, and Kuki Sanban won't murder us."

Egbert hit the brakes with a gravel-exploding screech. Barry and Kyle barely managed to swerve around him and stop.

"No! Way!" Egbert exclaimed.

"But … Kuki.." Kyle objected.

"Quiet! We're not scared of Kuki!"

"...We aren't?"

"NO! And we're NOT gonna come crawling to cruddy Sector V and cry mercy as if they were the freaking kings of the world or something. Because I've got a plan!" Egbert said. "Now follow me!"

Egbert set off with a furious pace, before Barry and Kyle had a chance to protest or ask questions. He didn't stop, until a familiar building appeared before the three boys.

"The Macharoni Museum of Art", Barry said redundantly.

"Oh yeah," Egbert said. "Right now the 12 pounds of candy our FRIEND Ben got for the Lisa is in there – in his office on the second floor. We crack the safe, take the candy and leave the real Lisa in Ben's safe. THEN I call Sector V - fake voice of course - and tell them where they can find the Lisa. I'd love hear Ben explain to Hoagie and the others how the Lisa ended up in his safe – and to hear him tell the school bullies that he hasn't got any candy on Monday. Fast ticket to Atomic Wedgie City – with MANY happy returns!"

"That's brilliant, Eggy," Barry exclaimed, "but … how do we get in? Even if the guards are dorks, there's still the alarm."

"Well, the guards are gonna let us in, once Kyle has asked them to."

"What, me?" Kyle said, "…but.."

"But first you need a disguise, of course" Egbert said and pulled a plastic bag from his backpack. "This will fit"

He threw the bag to Kyle, who took one look at the contents and went pale.

"Oh, no, Eggy", he croaked, "Not that!"

* * *

_Well, well, well - Eggy's got a plan. What can possibly go wrong?_

___ Fanny's Rainbow Monkey filled room is seen at the slumber party in Operation S.L.U.M.B.E.R where the picture on her dresser was taken. _As always reviews and comments are welcome. ___I've had a soft spot for Numbuh 86 ever since that episode (as Barry has observed, she is hiding a lot of insecurity and girly-girlness under her tough exterior, and she never really got her Moment of Awesome in the show)_  


_____As always reviews and comments are welcome._


End file.
